Wednesday - July 02, 2008

Today is her day

My friend sees the doctor to find out what they can do for her cancer.  I think she’s there right now actually.

I’m scared for her :(

Got a few things to get done today.  Cleaning a bit, starting to pack, figure out where my CD’s are for the trip.  Got some books from the library, oh yes.. I need to call the pharmacy.

Posted by meowy on 07/02 at 11:58 AM
Categories: Day to Day, Family,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Tuesday - July 01, 2008

Curly hair

Yay!  We both went and got hair cuts, and I got a perm.  I like it so far.

I don’t know how well it’ll look in a day or two but I think it’ll be great.

The hair place was so cute, one hairstylist on duty, one on vacation, and another who I think was maybe in training and also the phone watcher too.  They had nice fans, so itw as cool and the stench faded quickly too.  It was nice, quiet, and she didn’t try to chat with me about silly topics.  Just the usual “So, are you a local?” type things.

So for 48 hours, I can’t wash my hair.  Thursday night or friday morning I can though.  Just rinsed it here at home mostly to get any remaining stuff off my back and around my face, it’s cute.  Wavy like ramen noodles sorta!

Posted by meowy on 07/01 at 04:25 PM
Categories: Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Friday - June 27, 2008

sad

Words can’t explain how sad I feel :(

Too much sadness

Too much stuff to do over the next week every single day

Too much tears

Posted by meowy on 06/27 at 11:04 PM
Categories: Family,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Wednesday - June 25, 2008

Prayer Request

Update:

Please pray, my friend just got medical news and could use many prayers.  :(

I am trying hard to not worry, but I think it’s going to be impossible.

Posted by meowy on 06/25 at 01:41 PM
Categories: Family,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Tuesday - June 24, 2008

It is too late now.

Don’t know what to think.

At the moment, it’s just thinking.. no action to take, no response to make, I was not contacted.  I know what was said, and it is just as confusing as if it had been said to me.  I don’t know what to think.  Is it true, or more lies and games?  I hope I remain safe.  I fear riding my bike alone, going outside alone, all grown up and too afraid fo what may happen.

Now, why doesn’t she just go away and stay away?

We don’t need her in our lives, why can’t she just go away? 

She could have protected us then and didn’t, it is too difficult to believe her apologies are real now.  She did not contact me, but I still know what she said.  We don’t need her, she didn’t protect us then.  Why now?  Why care now..  Why think she can fix things now?  It’s too late.  The time was then, the time isn’t now.  It’s too late.

Is she dying or something, trying to make last amends on Earth?

Other things happened lately, it’s all too late.  For all of it, why now.. why bother?  It’s been so long, so much pain and hurt.. it’s just too late now.  There’s too much pain to be healed now, she’ll only make it worse.

Apologies.. it’s something I’ve always wanted but why now?  It doesn’t carry the same meaning as it would have many years ago.  Especially after the things that were said.  Why all of this now, that’s what I’d like to know.  Sometimes I think just how great it’d be if she just would only apologize, and mean it..  does she mean it?  Why now though?  What’s different this year than last.. or years past..  Even years ago she could have saved us, she could have protected us from the pain but she didn’t.

So many years later, why bother?  Just go away.

Just.. why now.  She did not care then, why.. after all this time.. suddenly care now?

Must be something in it for her.  Some way to make peace in her own mind, it’s too late to get forgiveness from me.  No amount of apologies will ever seem real, it will always seem like another game.  It’s too late.  You cannot be in my life, I will not love you, I will not even strive to like you.  You are evil.

She cannot heal our broken hearts, she can only prove to cause more harm.  Go away and leave us alone.  We’re both happy, we both have new families, we both have new lives.. we don’t need you, we don’t want you, we don’t even love you.  We don’t like you as a fellow human being.

You had your chance.  We gave you our childhoods, you let it all rot away.  That is your fault, not ours.. yours.

Go away and leave us alone.

We don’t love you.  We don’t even like you.

We don’t like how you acted then.
We don’t like how you act now.
We don’t like what you did do, didn’t do, did say, didn’t say then.
The same goes for now.
You had your chance.
You wasted it.

Just, go away.  I’ll ask nicely, which is more than you deserve.. go away, please.

Go away.

We don’t love you.  You aren’t our family anymore, you never were.. true family doesn’t cause harm like you did.  We tried to have you as family and you failed us. You failed us in every way.  You’re a failure, not us.  You told us that we were, years ago.. do you remember?  You told us it was our fault.  You’re a failure, not us.  By you pretending to not know what went on means you have no right to claim us as family.  You had your chance, you wasted it.  Years ago.  Just go away and stay away.  We don’t love you.

What’s different now?  Did he admit to you what he had done?  Is that what’s going on?

Do you finally believe?  so many years later, you finally believe me?  It’s too late.  The damage is done, it cannot be healed, go away.

Did you find proof that what I said was true?  All this time later, did you find that proof that I told you existed?  I told you it existed, you said horrible things.  Did you find that proof, is that it?  Did you see it, did you hold that in your hands, see with your own eyes the things that were done?

It’s far too late now.

Just go away.

It is too late now.

Posted by meowy on 06/24 at 03:17 AM
Categories: Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Sunday - June 22, 2008

Fish Tycoon

Yay!  I finally broke down and ordered it on Amazon.

Walmart and Gamestop were out in the shop bleh.. but it’ll be here this week, yay!  Ilovet he online version, and it’ll be neat to take it with me places and to play at night before bed smile

I found some cute shoes to wear to the wedding, they’re white and green.  Yay.

Posted by meowy on 06/22 at 09:10 PM
Categories: Day to Day, Gaming,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Monday - June 16, 2008

Paint class

Yay, my painting resembles flowers.. whichi s nice sine that’s what it’s supposed to be.  The background looks like crap though.  BUT!  It is okay, another painting on the learning pile.  Had a good time, we listened to NPR during class.. that’s good stuff.  Very funny commentary on politics, then a couple life stories were narrated.. I love it.

I found the whole session about the knuckle-touch that Obama and his wife did hilarious.  They never onced said “knuckle touch” and that’s what it is!  You say “KNUCKLE TOUCH” in a high pitched voice and someone else knuckle-touches.  Action complete.  Like they do on Psych, the tv show.

*knuckle touch*

Our compost is going good.  The metal frame thingy for it came in last week I guess, and so it’s got grass clippings, egg shells, bits of vegetable ends and a few disgusting bits that were in the fridge.  Yeah, the mushrooms were halfway composted in the fridge I’d say.  I don’t know when we bought those.  Disgusting.  It needs to speed up a bit though, gonna have more grass clippings piling up faster than it’s composterizing.

Got another pile going down between two trees over the hill too, just of clippings though not of any organic bonuses.

Been having fun in SL, meeting nice friends, taking fun classes, building loads of neat stuff.  Going fishing, which I love.  Most of all though, it is so nice to meet nice people and get to chat.. without feeling all anxious like I do in person with people.  It’s fun, and they’re all nice (okay not ALL but I don’t talk to the tools).  I’ve been focusing on a special class project lately, it ends soon.  I am so excited about it.  Stressful but fun.

Tomorrow I have more work to do on that project, not a close deadline but if I get it done… then I’m totally set.

Posted by meowy on 06/16 at 12:48 AM
Categories: Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Monday - June 09, 2008

Happy Birthday

to me

Posted by meowy on 06/09 at 07:46 PM
Categories: Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Saturday - June 07, 2008

I went :)

Yay painting!

Today we painted the most horrific table cloth.  I kid you not, it was gingham fabric!  Do you know how hard that is to paint?  Yesss..... very.

He set up a row of bottles on that cruel table cloth.  I singled three bottles out to paint and just didn’t paint the others around.  The table cloth however, it looks like crap.  Just the same, I think this one will go on the wall too.  I can’t just say no to the painting because I think my tablecloth looks like a 3 year old painted it haha

I’ll get a photo of it tonight or tomorrow.  To make it easier on me to transport my painting stuff (and not damage a wet painting) we parked the car by the gallery.  I just hauled home all the liquids and paints, and my brushes so I can wash them.  Happy days.

I really like the bottles I painted.  I look at them and cannot believe *I* am the one who painted those.

Then I look at the tablecloth and go “Oh yeah, I totally did that.”

Today there was another student too, and I gotta say.. I feel a little better by not being the only one!  He did great, he was very harsh on his own work but I thought it was nice!  He had trouble with the tablecloth too.  In the end, neither one of us really had a tablecloth.. but rather.. various colored lines drawn and a whole lot of frustration haha

Thankfully, he had his camera!  He’s going to email me a picture of the setup.  Next week I’ll take my camera along with me to be sure I get some from my eye-height.  This class was considerably more fun and easier, not only because I had alreayd been once.. but because I sat on a stool.  Tremendous difference.  I didn’t realize how much time had passed until Joe mentioned he was about to pack it up and head out.

Today, I beat my anxiety just enough to get out of the house.. go to class.. stay at class.. and ride home without fear.  Very proud of myself today smile

Not only that but I have a sweet painting!  The table cloth.. is… let’s just say… it makes a statement.  I’ll get back to you on what statement i tmakes, but yes… it.. makes a statement.  (Probably about how much I dislike that tablecloth)

I really thought it was a cute cloth until I had to paint it.  Now, it is my enemy.  I will figure out how to paint it one of these times.  I have some gingham fabric here at home, I’ll set up a still life and try.  It wasn’t until the end when I realized (and the teacher was pointing it out!) that I had basically… no table lcoth going haha!  There was no distinct gingham design going, I don’t think that table cloth stands a chance.

It’s good for now, my second painting smile

YAY ME!

Now to go check Amazon and one of those used book sites.. I have a book to locate!  I can’t remember the name, I’ll have to go find the paper again.  It’s a very thick book full of useful artist stuff.  He syas it has the history, and some medium recipes and I dunno what all. 

How exciting!

Posted by meowy on 06/07 at 04:16 PM
Categories: Crafty Stuff, Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Art class

I’m trying to be brave enough to go but just the whole idea of going is making me want to throw up.  I *do* want to go, but I’m terrified of going.

How lame is that!?

Class isn’t for a while yet though.  We’re going to drive the car up and put my art supplies inside, then walk home.  Then I’ll ride my bike to class a bit after that and only have to carry home the chemicals and paints.  The rest I will lock in the car until tonight when we’ll walk up to get it.  That’ll take care of my excercise for the day too yay!

It’s so hot out, hopefully the art gallery isn’t STINKING hot.. eek.  Hot humid air with smelly paint fumes.  I’ve got my inhaler with me.

I read over some oil painting library books but yeaaah.... it’s one thing to read it or be told it, but it’s different to actually do the steps.  I will practice some during the week too I think.  I want to do another color wheel, now that I’ve seen a picture in the library book last night.. mine isn’t right I guess.  I don’t know for sure though.  That is part of my stress, I don’t know if what I did is good or not.

Posted by meowy on 06/07 at 10:30 AM
Categories: Crafty Stuff, Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Thursday - June 05, 2008

Storms

I don’t like them.

Posted by meowy on 06/05 at 12:06 AM
Categories: Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Wednesday - May 28, 2008

Workout, Pipes

The pipes work smile The sinks drain!

My Lesle Sansome Walk at Home dvd got here yesterday, so today I try it.  I like it a lot.  She’s cheerful without making me want to hurl.  I have the 1-3 mile DVD, but I was really surprised when I chose 1 mile that at the end it didn’t do a cool-down.  So I was on my own for that while she continued on into the 2nd mile.  But I completed the ONE mile!  YEAH!!  Yippie!!

I was not sure I could do it, but I have to say.. that was SO much more easy than trying to walk a mile in town.  I was on flat floor the whole time for the DVD.  When I take walks outside, it involves walking up an incline that by the time I get to the top.. I’m exhausted and my legs burn so bad I can barely stand.  Then I have to walk home!

My legs do burn from the DVD but my whole legs got a workout rather than just my calves.  The burn is a whole lot less painful too.  It’s just a workout burn not a “I’m going to pass out because I walked up hill” burn.

I didn’t think I could manage it today with my lungs how they are, but I did it.  Took a cold pill earlier, my inhaler before I work out, and breathed carefully.  That was great. 

I feel like crap, man.. seriously..  My mouth and lips feel so dry and no amount of water is helping.  I’m to the point now that I’m gagging from trying to drink enough water to not be intensely, painfully thirsty.  I’m easily reaching my goal for water per day for the ediets group though.  That’s for sure.  It’s not even 6pm and I’ve had 64oz already.  Usually about 9pm I’m cramming some liquids down to get there.

I think I’ll go fix some decaf iced tea and watch some TV to rest.

When I don’t feel like a cat puke, I think I can get to the 2 mile mark.  All this rebounding, hula hooping, and biking (although none this week for biking) is really starting to make a difference.  I feel like I stand up straighter, and while I did not lose any weight this week versus last week.. I did lose measurements around my arms and waist.  YAY!

I think I may need a nap.  I’m worn out.  I need tea.

Gotta rest up and then work on getting something done so I don’t feel useless for the day.  Don’t know what to do that won’t sap all my energy but I’ll find something.

I need my lungs to clear up so I can paint more color wheels, bleach some tshirts, and feel like sewing!

Posted by meowy on 05/28 at 05:34 PM
Categories: Day to Day, Health and Diet,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Pipes

SICK!

He cut the pvc pipe in the basement and this disgusting, massive, nasty clog was there.  It was so disgusting when the pipe threw it up.  Really that was sick.  Then he did the snake thing to get the rest of the clog.  Ugh… sick sick sick.  Now we know why our sinks don’t drain properly.  This week it’s been really bad, they just drain soooo slowly.  Wash your hands and face, then the sink sits with water for about half an hour as it drains.

It was all caught up at the elbow bend of the pipe.

It was mighty.

The basement should be de-fumed from the PVC glue, hopefully we can go finish it up now!

Posted by meowy on 05/28 at 12:30 AM
Categories: Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Tuesday - May 27, 2008

Long time..

since I felt this way.  My lungs have that weird stuff going on.  If it doesn’t clear up, I may have to go get antibiotics.  I thought it was just allergies but yesterday I could hardly breathe, got cold pills so that was good.  I guess the night time ones wear off before I wake up.  Got to go take a day one.  My lungs hurt and coughing up stuff.

I am not pleased.  How am I gonna get anything done if every time I bend over my nose leaks, I cough if I move or speak, and in general I feel like puke.

I guess I could do my desk stuff.  I have some homework for the SL class I’m taking.  Lots of homework actually.  That requirse me to sit still and just think and type.  Today is a fine day for that.

Or better yet maybe go back to bed and stay there.

Thought it was just allergies, so basically it’s gone on for days and finally just got super bad last night with the whole lung thing ugh.  I feel dumb.

Today I had an eglinsh whole wheat muffin, with an egg.. I whipped the egg up then cooked it and folded it over, had mozarella cheese and like about 1/3c of golean cereal (which btw, is actauly very good!).  It looks like it might taste nasty but it’s not bad.  It’s certainly not a bowl of Lucky Charms but hey.. not bad.  With raisens added in. 

I had to reduce the amount of food on my breakfast plan, no way can I eat all that they told me to on the ediet site.

But it is a great sign that I WAS able to eat.. and I was hungry so hopefully it’s just allergies gone bad.

Posted by meowy on 05/27 at 11:35 AM
Categories: Day to Day, Health and Diet,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Sunday - May 25, 2008

Mulberry not Oak

Oops, clearly I need to take plant classes or something.

I thought we has two crappily growing oak trees or something down over the hill.  Well today I go down there to rake up the mess from where we mowed the other day and I notice these purple and red berries here and there.  There’s two full mulberry trees.  They’ve never made berries since we’ve lived here before.  I think two years ago the one guy cleared all that out, and left a few trees.  So I guess last year they got the sun they needed, and this year it’s fruit time.

I am so excited, I wanted to plant a mulberry tree!

I think all three of them are.  So well.. I have no idea then what the other two are.  I assume maple or pecan but hey.. we thought that one of these mulberries was a pecan too, just thought it was deformed.

Mulberries are so good. 

I started a second compost pile for now, down by those trees.  All that grass is like hay where we mowed it and it’s too much to bring up to the house pile until we get a containment system.  I think the one I saw online was about 20 bucks, just a plastic ring I guess.  I think we’ll see what the local garden center can order.  It’s not particularly the greatest compost thing.  I’d rather have one with a lid to keep Romeo out, that dog managed sto dig in everything.  I think he’s the little crapper who scattered my pile a little.  He rooted around and didn’t find anything good so he left it.  I don’t think he’ll learn from that though, he’ll keep sniffing it every time he’s out too.

I like the one at Lowes, that pattern I linked.  But the cost of that will be the same as if we just buy one, not to mention all the time and hassle to build the thing.  I just mentioned it.  Probably Tuesday I’ll call up and see if they have compost things in their catalog.  Then go scope them out.

We been working on the shed some, mostly him.. I raked.  I’m tired.  I have a class in 30m.  I need a benadryl badly though, but if I take one I might fall asleep and be unable to finish anything else for the day.  I still want to mow some and finish raking the grass up down the hill too.  Not much left to rake now though, maybe like 10 minutes worth.

Calamine isn’t helping.  I guess it’s sun/heat rash.  How crappy.

Posted by meowy on 05/25 at 03:24 PM
Categories: Day to Day, Plants,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Free Compost Bin Plans

Well here’s a bunch of compost bin plans.  The only problem is I don’t know the average cost of outdoor appropriate lumber to know if it’s cheaper to just buy a compost bin or make one.  I like this one here at lowes a lot.  Two bins, I can shuffle one pile to the other to turn it.  We had planned on making one that would just lift and set down to shove into but I like this one better.

Lowes Free Compost Bin

Then there’s a list of more bins here

I love this blog, she has one to make them out of pallets.  I don’t know where to get those though.  I still like the Lowes one better though.

Here’s a 3 bin kind, it looks like it’s the Lowes bins with an extra section maybe.

Posted by meowy on 05/25 at 10:43 AM
Categories: Plants,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Thursday - May 22, 2008

Annoyed.

My art supplies arrived today but they sent a partially wrong order.  I open the box, there’s my boards (which I better count to be sure I got the right amount), and my silicoil jar.  Then I’m supposed to have gotten a catalog and brushes.  Well in the bottom is a thing called comic book art boards.  I don’t know what that is.

No brushes.
No catalog.

I am sort of annoyed.

Thankfully they are really great on the phone.  I called up and the lady was great, she offered me two options.  1-Send the missing items out, or 2-Refund my money

Unfortunately my brushes won’t make it before Saturday.  I likely won’t see them till Tuesday, with holiday weekend and all.  But, I’ll have them for next weekend!  Plus they’re sending me a catalog.  Right now I have one of the teacher’s catalogs so it’s probably the exact same one actually.  Not too big a loss on that.  I’m just glad they didn’t expect me to ship my whole order back or something crazy.

Best part is, I get to keep the comic book boards!  Pretty sturdy paper with instructions on making comic book pages.  I could always use them to sketch with colored pencils I guess.  Seriously, who knew they sold actual pads of paper specifically for comic books!?  I didn’t. 

This stuff is kind of expensive too, I think the site says it’s 12 bucks.  Only 24 sheets too, dang.

Well at least my brushes will be sent out.  Disappointed that they aren’t here today

Tuesday the UPS man will be busy.  I have an order from Amazon coming, I bought a pedometer, another workout DVD, and black printer ink.  Plus my brushes too.

This totally sucks!  I just realized, I can’t do my color wheels.  I’ll do new ones next week then.

Wonder if I know anyone who draws comic books.. I’ll go put it in the Christmas bin later I think.

Posted by meowy on 05/22 at 04:06 PM
Categories: Day to Day,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Art Supply Warehouse

*thumbs up*

I ordered either Sunday or Monday I think.  Got concerned when they didn’t send an email, then I get one.. then yesterday they shipped.  It’s out for delivery today!  I only got standard shipping, but it was basically free after I entered the first-time-users coupon.  Neat!

I think I’ll paint today again.

Worked on my color wheels, I don’t know if I did it right.  I’ll try again.  It is so much easier to mix the colors on a smooth pallate than to try and do so on canvas.

Posted by meowy on 05/22 at 11:05 AM
Categories: Painting,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

Tuesday - May 20, 2008

This is Retro


Comment at Flickr

My newest kittens, "Scrap Cats" made from scraps of polymer clay!

Posted by meowy through Flickr on 05/20 at 05:49 PM
Categories:

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry

New Kittens

They’re baking now, but if they all survive I’ll have 10 new clay kitties to list on Etsy!

This time they’re the Scrap Bag Family.  Random colors, some with metallic leafing, some translucent.. just random.  I worked from the pink and blue bags today.

Posted by meowy on 05/20 at 02:13 PM
Categories: Etsy,

Add a Comment? • Link to Entry
Page 1 of 131 pages  1 2 3 >  Last »